


Shadows highlight the presence of Light

by Lady_hakunamatata



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I don't really know what this is, It just... exists, It's always POV Ronan with me, M/M, My brain is weird sorry, POV Ronan Lynch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-16 03:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11245662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_hakunamatata/pseuds/Lady_hakunamatata
Summary: Ronan's having a rough night, but is it really that bad when Adam is right next to him?





	Shadows highlight the presence of Light

**Author's Note:**

> I know I always say this at the end, but I'm not taking any risks with this fic. I did my fair share of that by writing this one, or so I think. You tell me. 
> 
> As always, feedback is super welcome. Please don't hesitate to tell me what you think, I'd love to hear EVERYTHING .  
> Thanks for your time! Hope you enjoy! <3

There was no escape. Ronan was going to lose this fight and he knew it. There was no way he could defeat the monster, not the way things were going now. The horrible demon had its big red eyes on Ronan’s face, and his deformed jaw kept opening and shutting, as if it was testing the movements: so far, Ronan had only heard it grunt furiously. This time, however, he spoke. 

It wasn’t the fact that the monster had spoken what had unsettled Ronan so much, but that in doing so, it had used Adam’s voice.   
“Wake up,” the monster had said, and Ronan had to fight the urge to flinch at Adam’s calm voice coming out of that demonic mouth. “You have to wake up now.”   
Ronan took a step back, he didn’t want to hear, but what use would it have been to ask, to try to order the monster to stop what it was doing to him? 

He also knew he couldn’t turn his back on the monster- couldn’t take that risk. So he took another step back. And another. In the middle of the third one, his foot caught on something, some kind of root, and he stumbled. But he didn’t fall flat on his ass as he was expecting; instead, he just kept falling, deeper and deeper into a pitch-black void. He could still hear the voice as he fumbled in the dark for something that would help him stop the fall. 

Ronan woke up, but he didn’t open his eyes right away; he didn’t dare. Instead, he stayed still for a while, giving his body time to regain control, as he silently prayed: he prayed nothing had followed his fall back into the real world. Soon, he realized even though a few moments had passed, he still couldn’t move: he was acutely aware of a certain weight pinning him down into the mattress. When Ronan opened his eyes, he almost wished he’d kept them closed. 

The weight holding Ronan down was Adam’s body, Adam’s strong, long-fingered hands closing tightly around Ronan’s wrists, a weight so sobering and comforting at the same time he let out a pitiful sob; in relief, gratitude, he didn’t know. However, the first thing Ronan noticed after averting his gaze away from Adam’s worried eyes, were the red, long lines scattered over Adam’s neck and arms. In the dim light of the bedside lamp, they contrasted against Adam’s slightly tanned skin. Adam understood immediately when Ronan closed his hand into a fist, his arm tensing under Adam’s touch, and the grip loosened, freeing Ronan’s hands at last. 

Upset by the view before him, Ronan lifted a trembling hand and touched a hesitant finger to the longest of Adam’s scratches, a red, angry thing that run from the base of Adam’s neck and across his collarbone. All the while, neither spoke yet, but Adam held Ronan’s gaze stubbornly, a hand against Ronan’s crazed heart, and Ronan found himself incapable of looking away now. Gently, Ronan cupped Adam’s chin, and turned his head, first to one side, then the other, to examine the rest of the scratches. Adam accompanied Ronan’s movement, still not saying a word. 

Taking a deep breath, Ronan broke the silence at last.   
“I did this to you,” he said, softly, although his voice was unnervingly calm. It didn’t reflect the way he was feeling at all.   
“It’ll fade,” Adam replied, as if he was talking about something unimportant, and it managed to make Ronan feel worse. There had been times Ronan hadn’t been completely sure what someone like Adam was doing with someone like him, but so far Ronan had never felt as undeserving of Adam as in that moment.   
Ronan was too exhausted, both physically and emotionally, to argue, although there was part of him- and not a weak part at that- that wanted to. He buried that part deep inside him; it would do no good now.   
“I promised,” he said instead, weakly, defeated. He prayed Adam would understand what he meant.   
Adam, his knees still straddling Ronan’s hips, leaned forward. He cupped his hands around Ronan’s face. “You didn’t do this to me. Your promise is still intact.”  
Ronan closed his eyes as his heart broke into a million pieces. He couldn’t think of one single reason why he deserved so much understanding and devotion from someone like Adam. He would never understand it, but not a day went by that he wasn’t grateful for that miracle. 

There were times Ronan thought that Adam was Niall Lynch’s last gift to him, a perfect dream so Ronan could have a perfect life, filled with happiness and love, and never want for what he’d lost. But the notion didn’t add up, of course, since all of Niall’s creations had fallen dormant upon his death- and Ronan hadn’t found a way to bring them back to life yet. And there was Adam, radiating so much life that it marveled Ronan every day. When he was feeling particularly optimistic, however, Ronan tried to argue with his rational mind: why couldn’t it be possible that Adam had been such creation, and for some reason he’d been immune to what had defeated all the others? Adam Parrish had his own share of magic, after all- and if there was someone strong and stubborn enough to refuse to let himself be defeated like that, it was him.  
Despite the circumstances, Ronan smiled at his own childish thoughts, at the realization of how deep his faith in Adam truly went: at the conviction that not one bit of that faith felt misplaced.   
Gaze softening, Adam brushed his thumb over the corner of Ronan’s mouth, his own lips slightly curving as well.  
“That’s more like it,” he whispered, and leaned in to press his lips to Ronan’s forehead, the touch as tender as it was warm against Ronan’s skin. Ronan wasn’t planning on going back to sleep anytime soon.   
“Ronan,” Adam said -pulling away to lie next to Ronan’s body, who was finally starting to relax- and he didn’t need to add anything.   
Ronan had long ago figured out every variation in tone whenever Adam said his name, and Adam seemed to have picked up on this fact at about the same time, so he knew there really was no need for anything else. Ronan remained silent for a few moments, trying to organize his thoughts as best he could, while Adam waited patiently, his hand sliding between their bodies in search for Ronan’s. Adam gave his hand a slight squeeze and Ronan found his voice at last. 

He told Adam about the nightmare he’d started having over a week ago now, and how it had shifted progressively, becoming more suffocating every time, how he found himself struggling for control but, even on the occasion that he did have it, it didn’t last long until he was trapped in a dream as unnerving as the ones ordinary people have, where there’s nothing left to do but let it run its course and- in Ronan’s case- hope it didn’t kill him in the process (he tried to pass this last remark off as a light comment, but the grim expression on Adam’s face told Ronan that his plan had been slightly unsuccessful). What Ronan didn’t say, what he couldn’t share with Adam despite everything, was the theory about the arguably impeccable timing for this nightmare to have started- a theory that, obviously, didn’t belong to him: not wanting to burden Adam with his issues, Ronan had originally tried to find a way around his problems somewhere else. 

He wanted to think about the time when Adam would leave for college as much as he wanted to dwell on his night terrors. Anything close to discussing both in a single conversation was simply out of the question. It wasn’t easy to talk about his dreams, particularly the ugly ones, the ones that woke him in the middle of the night, drenched with sweat and gasping for air; but it was a difficult topic for Ronan in general.  
Even harder was to think about the reason behind some of those nightmares. No fucking way.

A part of Ronan was always refusing to acknowledge the true nature of his dreams, as if by not talking about them, they would stay where they belong and not interfere with his life. But then he’d see the unfairness, the wrongness, of that logic: whenever he’d see Opal screaming in delight as she played with Adam; or whenever he looked at Matthew’s face to find him grinning back at him. Even when he had to clean up after Chainsaw brought in a dead animal or two, he’d find himself willing to bear this side, the darkest part of his nature, just so he could keep the beautiful things that came with it. 

Adam listened attentively, allowing Ronan to give as much as he was willing, supporting Ronan’s choice to withhold what he wasn’t ready to disclose. Ronan wasn’t naïve enough to fool himself into thinking Adam didn’t realize he wasn’t being told the whole thing.   
When Ronan was done talking, Adam didn’t press. There was a slight shift in the mood, and Ronan knew that Adam understood what he needed. There would be time to ease into the real talk in the future, but all Ronan wanted to do at the moment was forget about everything and get lost in Adam’s closeness, the soothing warmth of Adam’s body next to his, the incinerating feel of Adam’s touch against his skin. 

“You know,” Adam said with a slight smile, while he traced a finger over the marks around his collarbone, “you can help me cover these with different ones,” his tone shifted, his smile turning into something more alive, something that made Ronan’s heart stop in anticipation. “Ones we both may like much better.”   
Conveniently, Ronan thought, the lines on Adam’s arms, the shallower, smaller ones, were already starting to fade. The ones remaining were on Adam’s neck and collarbone- an area of Adam’s body that Ronan knew to be incredibly sensitive to touch. It also meant they were in places that could be effortlessly covered under a shirt, at least until the scratches faded. For the other marks, the ones that would serve as a reminder of what they truly shared, and of how it couldn’t be tainted by something that didn’t belong there, between them.

Shifting their positions, Ronan now got Adam onto his back and, after a much needed touch of their lips, he was happy to oblige. By the time he was done, Adam’s skin was a mess of a very different kind; but the sweet, satisfied smile on Adam’s face- along with the memory of the sounds he’d made under the greedy touch of Ronan’s lips, the way Adam had melted under Ronan’s eager hands, the understanding that seemed to exist between their bodies as they moved together as one, how Ronan’s name had sounded when it escaped Adam’s lips in the form of a sigh as he climaxed, which in turn had triggered Ronan’s own orgasm while he was still buried deep inside Adam- was enough to give him a few moments of calm, and a couple hours of rest. 

The warm weight of Adam’s form enveloping Ronan- as if Adam was intent on keeping the night terrors at bay with his own body as a shield- did the rest to bring Ronan’s peace of mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow! It's been a long time since my last upload here!   
> Things have been crazy for me these past few months, but now I've found a bit of room to adjust to so many changes my life has gone through. Hopefully that will translate into a bit more of an active presence here? We'll have to wait and see ;)   
> For now, Thank you to everyone who made it this far. Hopefully that means you managed to read the whole thing, and with a minimum of cringing, I hope? Anyway. Thanks. For realsies. See you soon! <3


End file.
